"Sending emails two Fridays in a row? Is she on a new brain drug?" No, I'm simply using my leisure time wisely to avoid crushing ennui and spiritual vacancy. Whether or not it's working is up for debate, but it's been fun to connect with some on you on topics other than how fucked we all are, so let's keep that going.
Last week, I had dinner at Emily Gilmore's, which required topics suitable for a blue-blooded elder who eats her hamburger with a knife and fork. This week, I'm scarfing down slices with Carrie and Miranda at Two Boots, so the vibe is more caszh (what's TiVo taping, who's having disappointing sex, etc.).
If the whole premise of this writing prompt is that I'm having dinner with Carrie Bradshaw and then I recommend a video essay about Carrie Bradshaw, does a hole open up in the space-time continuum? Maybe Two Boots Carrie Bradshaw watches it, learns something about herself, and prevents "And Just Like That" from happening. The fictional character becomes a sentient being with the autonomy to push back against Michael Patrick King. "I can't do it, Michael. Everyone hates me so much that critics are now spending time analyzing whether or not I deserve that hatred. What's going to happen when they see me buy and sell a Tribeca loft in the span of days because I can't figure out which appliance is beeping?"
Meta elements aside, this is a take on Carrie that I haven't heard before despite spending plenty of time down the "SATC" rabbit hole. It's always interesting to me when a cultural shift spurs a bunch of think pieces like, "Hannah Horvath, Why Do We (Still) Hate Thee So?" and "Rory from 'Gilmore Girls' is the Actual Worst." This kind of positioning typically leads to bad criticism where the writer has a predetermined conclusion that they mold evidence to support (also see: any of the "Fuckboy" pieces I wrote in 2018). What I like about this one is the way it weaves in those shifts along with behind-the-scenes developments, like SJP's pre-S4 producer credit, to contextualize the character trajectory. It doesn't gaslight you into believing Carrie's annoying qualities are actually fine and that you're the problem, but instead acknowledges the influence of societal beliefs on perception.
I enjoy "The White Lotus" as much as the next person, I'm just sick of the media dick-sucking. S3 was boring/sloppy and no amount of Evan Ross Katz screenshots will convince me otherwise. I don't believe for one second that Mike White is "edging" us; he made bad choices because that's what happens after multiple seasons with no writers' room. Heaps of praise lead to a faux invincibility and if there's no one around to call bullshit on lackluster ideas, the end product suffers. The finale was the biggest letdown with every interesting thread left dangling. Saxon gets wanked off by his brother, finds out about his father's financial crimes, and (presumably) learns about the death of his crush and then just... sashays away? There's nothing else you want to do with this character, Mike?
Laurie's monologue is what really set me over the edge. Carrie Coon is such a good actor that for a second, I almost believed she was saying something significant. The speech's takeaway is that acceptance and appreciation are what give life meaning, not external markers of validation; the way to find peace is to embrace situations for what they are, not what you want them to be. While I don't disagree with the sentiment, applying it to her friendship with Jaclyn and Kate is laughable. Imagine if she said this shit about an emotionally abusive spouse. No one would applaud her for staying in an unhealthy marriage because "time gives it meaning." Que sera, sera, my ass. This mentality is more like passive defeat. To make matters worse, the rest of the season isn't written to support this conclusion, so it feels totally disconnected and, as Kathryn VanArendonk says, unearned. Watching "The White Lotus" is starting to feel too much like staying at "The White Lotus." It's a beautiful break from real life, but the experience isn't going to leave you with any profound revelations and I wish it would stop trying.
A few days before the 2024 presidential election, I went to see "Conclave" with my friend Nadav and found it to be the perfect distraction. Homoerotic undertones, massive piles of cigarette butts, incredible costumes, diabolical scheming, and dramatic vape hits? Mwah. Obsessed. For 2 hours, we totally forgot the country was teetering on the precipice of disaster. Last Friday, in desperate need of similar escapism, we went to IFC Center for "Misericordia," another horny priest movie that left us just as satisfied. I don't even have to waste words convincing you to see it because the review blurbs do all the heavy lifting:
This movie has everything I enjoy: mushroom hunting, murder, forbidden desire, and small town fuckery. GIVE IT TO ME IN AN IV. If/when you see it, please imagine Taylor Doose as the priest and Jackson Belleville as the angry son.
I spent six years writing about "Gilmore Girls" and I think everyone knows I'm a fan of the Palladinos' work; however, they seem like the kind of people I would side-eye in real life. In the past year alone, they signed an idiotic letter denouncing Jonathan Glazer's Oscars speech and then in this Variety interview, gave a response I can only describe as weaselly:
If you don't want to bite the hand that feeds (or have some kind of legal agreement that prevents candor), tell the interviewer upfront what topics are off limits to avoid this ^ embarrassing shit. I understand the industry is competitive and they need money to continue making their art but where's their fucking integrity? They're already firmly established and must have some sway after 22 Emmy wins for "The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel" and the undeniable longevity of "Gilmore." What's the point of all that success if you're still kowtowing to Jeff Bezos?
Other interview highlights: the Palladinos are open to another "Gilmore" revival (please, no), praise Lauren Graham's beauty while simping for Walmart, and hate the binge release strategy for "Étoile," a show that doesn't look especially funny based on the trailer. How do we feel about this? All of the episodes are released on April 24, so let's circle back then.
Over the years, my friend Maddie and I have gone through many joint obsessions, which is partially why our friendship has lasted ~32 years. At one point, I'm pretty sure 95% of our conversations were just regurgitated dialogue from Emily Gilmore and/or Stephanie Plum. One of the biggest bummers of aging is living far away from her and being unable to do things together like order takeout and watch "The Birdcage" three times in a row. When I visited Sophie in September, her childhood BFF had recently moved not only to the same city, but RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET. I'm still seething with jealousy.
Anyway... "Desperate Housewives" is one of those shows — along with "Frasier," "What We Do in the Shadows," and "Grace and Frankie" — that has become a comfort watch for us over the years. If I'm having a bad day, I'll throw on the episode where Bree gives Orson a lap dance to Tchaikovsky and all's right with the world. In his piece for Airmail, Brennan Kilbane writes about the "Desperate Housewives" to "Real Housewives" pipeline and laments the days when Wisteria Lane reigned supreme. Oh, what I wouldn't give to spend a day on the couch with my friend, laughing about Kyle MacLachlan in yet another role where his penis gets its own storyline. I don't want to watch a tradwife make gum from scratch on TikTok; give me a skanky nun using the power of the Catholic church to get a man out of prison for financial crimes or give me death!
Other assorted news:
- In a turn right out of "The Studio" turn, Jen Salke is out at Amazon MGM.
- Hacks" is back (hallelujah).
- I started "Dying for Sex" but I'm not sure how I feel about it.
- I love watching rich evil people, so I'll give "Your Friends & Neighbors" a chance.
- Yes, I'm finally reading Graydon Carter's memoir.
